Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize