I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Enjoy the penises
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
