another moral hangover. fuck.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
