oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
