butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
