ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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