he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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