Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize