it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
