My nipple is on Facebook.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
