I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Randomize
