Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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