like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
