so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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