Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize