It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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