...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
