ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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