Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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