Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
