"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
