Im at strip club and am horny
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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