My friends, they love my intelligence
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
