I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
