The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
