And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
