But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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