we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
