Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
