omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
