Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
