so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
