Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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