what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
