"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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