Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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