But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
