I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
