so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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