let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Randomize
