Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
