And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
