It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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