Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
