I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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