Its about making memories worth repressing
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
