I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
