Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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