I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
