Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
These tits shall not be calmed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
