If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Small penises have feelings too.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
