I'm eating all of the evidence.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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