Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
