Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
