is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
