Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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