i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
