bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
