And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
