Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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