Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
