so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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