I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize